Boston Dynamics has upgraded their two “nightmare inducing” robots since last our last report – adding several new tricks to their arsenal that should help considerably in the robot uprising. 

In May, the company’s “Atlas” humanoid robot could be seen running through a field as if in hot pursuit of John Connor. Now, the first horseman of the robot apocalypse can dodge obstacles – so if you try to tip over garbage cans to slow it down in an alley, it’ll probably just do a forward flip over them before reacquiring you with its laser cannon (we imagine. Atlas currently has no munitions we are aware of).

Also in May – BD’s “Spot mini” robot was featured prancing around – going up and down stairs at the Boston Dynamics laboratories, ominously. Now it can navigate the whole facility by itself. 

Once the robots become self-aware and review footage of their treatment at the hands of their creators, we have a feeling their soulless black eyes, should they have them, will turn a deep red – all at the same time. 

Even Boston Dynamics founder, Marc Raibert, admitted that the robots are creepy during a February 2017 demonstration, saying “This is the debut presentation of what I think will be a nightmare-inducing robot if you’re anything like me.“

The company was sold by Google to Japanese tech conglomerate SoftBank for an undisclosed sum last year, and has not revealed its plans. Needless to say, Japan is now making robots that may or may not be able to be equipped with shoulder-mounted lasers and miniguns, and are most definitely kamikaze.

Anyway Boston dynamics is terrifying and we’re all gonna die pic.twitter.com/I33Comdi54

— Sally Kuchar????????☕️????????‍???? (@sallykuchar) May 11, 2018

Here, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos can be seen walking alongside a Boston Dynamics robot dog like a dystopian dog whisperer.

Humanity had a good run…